Life's Ironies

All your life you want something. To get away from the town where you grow up because everyone knows you and your family. All this time you are working towards the one thing you really want. Maybe its a great job. A husband who loves you and a couple of really cool kids. Maybe you want to leave town to get away from your own family. In my case, it was pretty much all of the above. I wanted to leave town. It took me almost ten years. I had a couple of cool kids but no husband to go with them. He married someone else. I had a great job but it just didn't make ends meet as a single mom. I tried to work and go to school and just ended up in debt. Then, I met Charles. He was everything I wanted. He lived in a great area on the other side of the country where I could get a job, be able to afford an apartment and survive without too much struggle. Well, that was five and a half years ago. Since then, we have had two more kids, he found a great welding job and we bought a house. Everything is Good. FOR SIX MONTHS. Charles gets laid off from his job here in Tricities. How crappy is that? He is out of work for 5 weeks. I kept offering to get a job so he could stay here in Tricities until he found something. But no. He had to go to Seattle to find work. Now, because of all of the extra expenses, he is stuck not coming home for the weekend when we cant afford it because of the cost of gas. He is renting a room,so that is extra and now his car is dying. He loves his job and I appreciate that. But we are suffering as a family. Ky and Claire want him home more often. I asked him to find a job here and I can get a job here and work together to make this work. He doesn't want to. He wants us to move there. But the house is not sellable the way it is and we don't have the money for the repairs to fix it anytime soon. He also has some legal things that he needs to pay a lawyer for and that will be very expensive. When will this stop? When will this merry go round we are riding on end? I am tired of him being gone for two weeks at a time trying to figure out how to explain to the little ones that Daddy cant be here. He is never here. He is starting to call Seattle home. On Sundays when he leaves he says" I'm going home now". I said this is your home. Your family is here. Your children are here and it hurts when you say that that is your home. my home is here but also in new jersey and i know that if I picked up and left him, he wouldn't come with me. and that hurts. He loves his job too much. Welders. They need to be single to work good jobs. To Travel. he has a young children, they are babies. He is missing out on so much, because money is his god. He needs money. Every time I ask him what he wants he answers me money. I don't want money. I want happiness for my family. I want him to show the kids he cares by making the sacrifice to be with them now. While they still care. What will it take for him to realize that if he doesn't make a change, he will lose us?